making substitutions

. . .

you shoot upright in bed, violently yanking the charger from its place on the back of your neck. ouch.
disregard that. something isn't right here. you know someone tampered with...

the lights?

why is your room red and green?

you glance down at yourself.

why are you red and green--
... and why are you the source of the light?

"rise and shine, christmas tree!"

ohhhh no. you thought she was just joking.

what did you even do to deserve this?

"well, remember when i told you we needed to decorate for the holidays?
and you kept putting it off?"

... maaaybeeee?

"uh huh.
well, here we are, missing a tree and having guests over today."

oh no. ohhhh no. no, no no--

> (Internal temperature rapidly rising.)

"so i've decided... you're gonna be the tree today!~

fuck

"see me in the living room once you're decent, dork."

punctuating her sentence with an ominous giggle, she turns and walks away.

> (Internal temperature nearing safe limits.)

fuck, fuck fuck-- why are you overheating?

. . .

a little while later, you step into the living room. she's sat there on the couch, surrounded by boxes of decorations and lights, tapping away on her laptop.

maybe you could slip away before she--

"hey."

eep. not happening. what does she want you to do, anyway?

"sudo strip your clothes off. i've got a new outfit for you!~"

as your body gets itself undressed, you can't help but wonder...
why did she bother having you get dressed??

she pauses her giggling to answer:
"because i knew it would be REALLY funny to confuse you like that. i was right!

grumble, grumble... where's her outfit?

you are handed nothing but a poofy little skirt. plain white, contrasting with the red-and-green lights emitting from your eyes.

she doesn't have to make any orders this time, you think. you start pulling up the sk-
"sudo put on the skirt."
-irt. was that really necessary?

"of course it was!
you've had enough chance to do things yourself, so obviously i deserve to take the reins!~"

"alright, nowww..."
she gestures to a corner in the room. probably where the tree would be if you'd put it up.
"sudo step on over there and face out this way."

once your body lumbers on over to the spot, you open your mouth to spe-
"sudo hush.~"

okay, fine. maybe you can gestu-
"sudo seize.~"

welp. you are now functionally a statue. damn you, hot girlfriend and your hot commands.

she sets her laptop on the coffee table, then grabs a handful of string lights from a box and saunters on over to you.

"hey, don't worry! it'll be a good look on you!"

she starts wrapping the lights around your frozen figure. they're still a bit cold from being out in the garage so long, making you acutely aware of exactly where every little individual bulb is touching you.

"after all, you do tend to light up the room when you're around... hehe."

after loosely wrapping your whole body in string lights, she dips out of your sight for just a second, returning with a small box of ornaments held under her arm.

"whoops, looks like i froze your arms in a bad spot... we can make this work, though!"

she high-fives you with her free hand, then starts pulling ornaments from the box. if you could breathe, you'd be breathing the biggest sigh of relief that they're attached by string. fuck the hooks. awful. terrible. fuck 'em.

"hey. dork. can i get your opinion here?"

... this fuckin' dude.

"ohhh, right. nevermind!~
i'll figure it out, don't you worry."

. . .

this song and dance carries on for quite a while. casually decorating you, teasing you about your lack of choice, and so on... until finally, she steps back and switches her box of ornaments out for her laptop.

"don't worry, we're almost done here! just gotta do this one last thing..."

click!

you swear, you're never gonna get used to having ports on your body... especially not in such strange places. who the heck decided there should be a usb-c port on your tailbone?? it's like she was fucking with you on purpose.

"i'd say get ready for a flashbang, but your eyes've been on max brightness all morning, so..."

she gets to tapping away on her keyboard. it only takes a few seconds for you to hear the distinct sound of the return key, then watch the entire living room be lit up by the string lights on your body. cycling red and green, from the looks of things.

but something's not right. even though you're all decorated the way she wants, she's eyeing you like something's missing...

"oh! that's it!~"

before you even process that she spoke, she steps close and yanks your skirt down to the floor in one fluid motion.

"i forgot the tree skirt goes on the floor! silly me!~"

her grin can only be described as shit-eating.

and despite the fact that you're now fully exposed to the cool air (save for your feet, thank goodness), you feel warmer than ever. warm enough to
> Internal temperature nearing safe limits.

. . .

one laughing fit later, she sets her laptop down next to you and equips a handheld mirror in its place, turning it so you can see yourself.

oh.

oh.

oh.

you can't even find the words to describe how you feel. what the heck?? huh???

"i'd ask what you think, but... y'know. hehe.
but for what it's worth, i think i did a wonderful job!"

"wonderful" doesn't even begin to describe it. nothing you can think of--

(knock, knock, knock!!)

"whoops, there's our guests! i'll talk to you later, dork.
you just make sure you sit pretty, m'kay?"

she leans in super close.

"make it through the day without having to reboot and i'll make sure you get a reward,
my darling decor~"

oh.
it's going to be a very, very long day.

thank you for the read :) i hope this story lived up to my first Robot Yuri tale

part of me wants to develop this couple into their own unique characters instead of just blasting them with the Y/N And Their Unnamed Girlfriend Beam. considerations for later, i suppose.